When I was in my Freshman year college, Heather [whom I lost touch with] took me under her wing to educate my speech. When someone asked me how I am doing, I would respond, “I am good.”
Heather corrected me with, “Jeff, preachers do good. People do well.”
I try to say “I am well” when someone asks and that has been one of my issues. Everyday, I say I am well when some days I am unwell.
About 4 weeks ago, it occurred to me for the first time that I am a good person. It was Lisa who explained this to me in a couseling session. Up to this point, for my entire life, I have held myself to an impossible standard of perfection.
In certain situations, this behavior has borne fruit, in my education and career where results are mostly the result of drive and not necessarily talent.
However, in the world of emotional health, perfection is a disease. Dr David M. Burns said it best:
“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.”
Lisa went on to give me some kudos – that I am a well-intentioned person. I wouldn’t be in counseling if I weren’t. I don’t try to hurt people. I own up to my mistakes.
It’s been hard for my brain to understand what this means to me. Despite
When I was in my Freshman year college, Heather [whom I lost touch with] took me under her wing to educate my speech.
Despite competence in reading and writing, there were gaps in my education – in particular the way I spoke. I used colloquialisms when I shouldn’t have. For example, when someone asked me how I am doing, I would respond, “I am good.” Heather corrected me with, “Jeff, preachers do good. People do well.”
It took more than one time to remind me. (more…)
